Just a ramble.

Hey, Hi guys, hi. 

*wonders why I decide to open this post with quoting Studio C* 

If you know, you know.

I had a really long day studying. I want to read my book (that I have been neglecting for too long) but when you've read your art appreciation book all day, reading of any kind becomes less appealing.... So instead, I decided to open up a blank blog post and fill it. Ya know, if I consider myself a blogger, I need to be writing posts every once in a while. 

The thing is, I don't know what to say. I have so many "fun" blog post ideas lined up, yet I wish I could line up some more meaningful posts. I have so many things on my mind. But getting them out of my mind and formed into little black letter combinations on a blaring white page is the tricky part. When I first started blogging, I would share my poems and devotionals. It was easier back then to find lessons in the world around me. I write poems every once in a while for my journal. But devotions have slowed down to a trickle. Seems like my life got too messy and I didn't really feel deserving of writing anything to help other people's "messiness." I didn't quit, but I kinda took a break from my object lesson devotionals. 

Soooo, what's the purpose of this post? Good question. 

I guess I just wanted to get on and ask how y'all were doing? I realize this year has been a hard one for everyone. Or maybe there are some out there who have turned the obstacles into blessings. If that's the case, that's awesome. It's okay to be doing good. Don't ever feel like you have to have something wrong in order to get prayers or attention. But-- if you've had more bad than good happening in your life, it's okay to feel too. Just please don't dwell there for long. If you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Better days are coming. Keep looking for the good. Don't give up. I pray you will be able to find the peace in this season. <3

Another reason for this post is to share a couple (ramble-y) things that have been on my mind lately: 

~Is it usually painful to think about putting stickers on your laptop?

I really want to have a cool, aesthetic laptop. You know, the kind that look all good vibes and adventurous. But, I'm having such a hard time actually committing to putting stickers on it! 

~Emotions are a funny thing. 

Or are they? Are they a blessing or a curse? The verdict is still out...

~Friends are a gift. But sometimes finding friends can be a journey.

Let me tell you a story. 

    I once had only a few close friends. And most all of them were my family (does this count?) As a younger teenager, I wasn't bothered by this. For the most part anyway. I had my small group of close friends and family, and life was good. I also had my animals (and my dog was my very best friend). As I got older, I slowly drifted from those close knit friendships. Life got busy. We all had differing interests. The sad thing about change is, things change. Anyway, shortly after starting this blog, I began to find a community of friends that will never be as close as my amazing fam, but I began to find friends outside of my family. This was so new to me. Me? Some homeschool country gal starting to make "friends?"

    I reached out a lot. Sometimes it created lasting friendships. Other times, there wouldn't be much of a connection. Then, I started to get more of a online platform. More people were introduced into my circles. I was at first intimidated by the mutual friend "clicks." But I continued to reach out. (Looking back, I can see now how desperate I was to find a friend. It makes me wonder, was I really trusting God to find me friends or was I trying to do it on my own?)

    Quite a few people were genuinely kind to me. The more people were nice to me, the more I struggled with one question: Why? 

    Why would you like me? Why would you be so nice? Why would you want to be my friend? I guess I kind of guarded myself from being close to anyone. (The sad fact is, you can still get hurt from online friendships.) What if they learned something new about me and decided to not be my friend anymore? What if I opened up too much and they saw me for who I am. I broken person just trying her best to even like who she saw in the mirror. Would they still like me? Is the purpose of having friends to find someone who likes you for who you are or for how well you look, how accomplished you are at stuff, etc? Something seems to tell me that a friend worth having would care about the former rather than the latter things. For some reason, I had it in my stubborn head that no one should want to be my friend and that if someone was to be nice to me, it was because they were nice people and not because they liked me as a fren.

    Anyway, I wasn't really sure about having friends. Slowly, I began opening up to the idea that it's OK for me to have friends. It's OK to have people in your life who care. People who will listen. And I'm so grateful to have found people outside of my family who are kindred spirits. People who don't mind talking for hours (and graciously overlook my awkwardness). People who don't mind inviting you to virtual worship. People who send random happy mail. People who message and ask how you are doing. People who don't mind if you answer truthfully. I think God places people in our lives for a reason. And maybe friends are His way of reminding us and giving us just a small little glimpse of what love He has for us. If you think about it, true friends kinda mirror how God looks at us. He sees us how we are and loves us the same. He helps carry our burden even though we are undeserving of that kind of grace. Friends who stick with us, demonstrate just a tiny bit of that same love. 

    Ahh, and then there are the girls reading this right now going, "That's all dandy, but what if I have no friends like that." Girl, we've all been there. I know what it's like to feel like there are no people who I can relate to outside of family. My advice to you would be to give it to God. He already knows that you desire a friend. And in His timing, He will bring you that person. It might be a couple years. It might take some missed attempts to reach out. It might be slow goings, but there are people out there who will want to be your friend (Because you are a pretty cool person and if someone doesn't see that then they will miss out on a very special friendship because of it). There will be people who will share commonalities with you. People who will encourage you. People who challenge you to grow. You might wonder why you ever got such good friends, but I hope you never wonder Who brought you those friends. 

To have a friend you must be a friend. 

Just don't be afraid of getting hurt. You will get hurt, but you will also learn so much from each season in friendships. It's a interesting journey. 

On a lighter note...

~Is peanut butter with dill pickles on a sandwich really a good idea? Cause is sure sounds disgusting to me!

If you've tried this, lmk in the comments how it went. I mean, I love dill pickles. And I love peanut butter. But, I also love spinach dip and peppermint ice cream. And you don't see me eating a spoonful of each one together! XP

~If I ever write a book, will I be satisfied? 

This is the dream that has been on my heart for a couple years now. Some days I know I'm destined to be a author. It feels right. Then other days, I feel so discouraged and wonder if I will ever see my book on the shelf. Maybe that's where I go wrong, thinking it as my book. Because, truly, if I ever write a book, I will not have written it on my own. Deep inside, I know I have words to share. But the timing isn't right right now. Someday I hope the door will open. Until then, I'll keep trying to polish my skill. And I hope that when the day comes to see a book that I've poured my heart in on the shelf, then I hope that I won't be satisfied. Yep, you read that right. I hope that I'm not satisfied. I hope that I keep searching for ways for God to use my words. I hope I write more books. I hope I let God give me more ministry opportunities. More open doors. Sure, I hope I will be content with where I'm at. But I hope I never lose sight of why I do what I do. If that makes any sense at all...

~What if I did book cover critiques, would that be weird? 

This thought was rolling around in my head today. What if I featured a couple book covers in a blog post and do some cover critiques. In school, I'm learning that critiques are not a bad thing. It helps us grow and see things from other peoples's perspective.

    When I look at a cover, as a future (hopefully) cover designer, I always study it for things that could be improved or things that I really like about it. So I guess my question to my readers would be, would anyone be interested in seeing a post critiquing book covers? Just giving honest thoughts on the cover design. If you think this is a cool idea, vote in the comments! And maybe give me a couple titles to get me started! :)

~I wanna be that person who is safe to talk to. Who doesn't jump to conclusions and gives the benefit of the doubt. 

The world we live in is so quick to jump to conclusions, make assumptions, form stories that are most likely far from the real truth. What if it wasn't our gut reaction to first judge a person, I wonder what kind of world we would live in then?

~Wouldn't it be nice to have a machine that plugs a book in and creates that book into a movie?

Yeah yeah, it's not the same. But sometimes (like tonight), I'm too tired to read and would so much rather chill with a movie. It's so hard to find movies that are good. And there's so many good books I'd want to plug in!

~Art is everywhere. But it's who can see it that makes the difference. 

My room is 99% of the time-- a jumbo mess. When you run a small business and live in a small house, things tend to pile up mighty fast. Even as I'm writing this, I'm looking at a stack of empty cardboard boxes that I've collected to repurpose for Winds of Faith Co. sales. They are medium to small sized boxes stacked two feet tall on top of my antique trunk sitting beside my desk (also piled high with books, art supples, my typewriter, and random other things). When I look at this scene, I see a mess. I actually see failure (on my part) to keep a tidy room. But then I'm reminded of a artist featured on my first college art class. A artist who painted and specialized in painting still-life paintings. 

    What she did was look around her at everyday objects in her kitchen or in her studio (which happened to be a stack piled super high of small boxes!) and she would paint those objects. In her eyes, the stack of boxes was just as interesting as a field of wildflowers. In her eyes, I milk carton next to a box of cereal or a bowl was just as interesting as a painting of a galloping horse across wide open spaces. The point being, we have a choice in how we see things. The things around you may seem ordinary or messy to you. But if you were to look at them from a artists perspective, how would that view change? 

    Now, I'm not saying that we should wreck our rooms and call it "art." Lol, no, what I'm saying is we should look into our lives like a artist would. It might be way more interesting once you get past the initial impression.

Well, that concludes this post of rambles. Maybe it was deeper than I thought. Maybe it was funny here or there. Maybe you can find a takeaway somewhere in this post. But if not, I still want to hear from you! Since this post was just a bunch of rambles, here are a couple random questions for ya! Answer a couple of them in the comments if you want to! Also, feel free to ask me a random question in return!

1. What do people, who don't have barn animals, do with their time in the winter?

2. If you were to become famous, what would you be famous for? 

3. If your favorite genre of music described your life, how would your friends describe you?

4. If I did a post on Hand-Lettering 101, would you be interested?

5. You are at home by yourself with nothing to do, how do you spend your time? 

6. If your life's motto was the first quote that came to mind, what would it be? 

7. Can you like bananas and hate coconut, or like coconut and hate bananas? Or do people always dislike or like both? (I like both. My sister dislikes both. So just curious.)

8. How would you describe your style (room decor, clothing preference, etc.) in three words?

9. Lets say you are in charge of making dinner for you whole family, what would you make? And why? 

10. If you could travel anywhere for a whole day, what destination would you pick?