College. When Life is Unpredictable.

 

College. I've been a college student for 16 days. (It’s been good! A hard adjustment, but good.) 

Here’s a little bit of my story to where I’m at:

It's weird, I never thought I'd do college. After I graduated high school in 2018, I knew I wanted to take a gap year. (I highly recommend this. Don't rush into the next step. Take your time, don't get caught up in the worlds view of things.) That's part of the reason I didn't want to do college. Because that's what everyone expected and I don't want to be like mainstream. But at the same time, I knew it was seen as socially acceptable and I I'm already so different, did I really want to be different in that area as well? 

My family didn't pressure me, but I pressured myself to decide what was next. I didn't want to be that 40 year old still living in their parents basement. But I also didn't want to go into debt for a measly piece of paper with a shiny stamp on it either. I was so torn. I didn't feel like God was opening the door for college. But I also felt like I was too scared to go even if He did open the door. 

So I took a gap year. That was a great way to answer the questions every high school graduate gets asked. Most people thought it was a good idea anyway. Only, in the back of my head, I had absolutely no clue of what I "wanted to do when I grew up."

The school year came and went. And I grew my small business. I did some job shadowing. I wrote lots and lots of words in my WIPs. I went outside of my comfort zone. I had a summer job. I did odd jobs. I helped manage the meals at out house. I took a cooking class. I met online friends. I grew as a person. I honestly became way more busy. But it was good, productive, busy. I wasn't idle in my gap year. And all the while, I wondered what I should do next. 

When I saw others moving on and starting college, I felt something deep inside. Not jealousy. But something similar enough because I felt like everyone besides me had it figured out. But, that's just not the case. 

The problem was, I have so many interests. As a creative, I like all sorts of things. But things that wouldn't be good jobs. Passions? Yes. But providing income? Nope. 

(At one point, I wanted to be a blacksmith. I still think it sounds like fun, just not as a job title. XD)

Two year later... 

We were going into the Fall academic year of 2020. My mom and I sat down to make a plan. Did I want to take some continuing education classes? Creative writing classes? Graphic Design classes? More cooking classes? What was my schedule going to look like? So we sat down, and my mom tells me about a ad she saw. Liberty University. Well that was a coincidence, I had messaged a friend about that same school back in September, 2019 just because #curiosity. So we get on their website in hopes of finding individual classes, not the whole 4 year college. We didn't find anything. So we called. Talked to a really nice lady who's daughter had been home schooled and graduated from LUO. Sounded like a great Christian school. 

After the phone call was over. I felt abnormally calm for talking about school. (Up until then, I was really insecure about what I had accomplished in my "gap" year.) And then I felt something else: excited. 

Guys, it takes a lot for me to feel excited! And then, I felt peace. Of sorts. It wasn't some grand "hallmark" peace. But a small peace. It was a open door, and I knew it. 

So, we sat down that day hoping to find a class or two, and now, I'm a 4 year college student. We applied a day before the fall term closed. God's plans are so much wilder than ours! God's plans are so much more unpredictable and crazy. But they are also secure plans. Plans that lead you to the understanding that He's got this. And He's holding this.

I share this story with you because I hope you can learn from it. I don't have everything figured out. Yes, a door has opened for me and I'm moving forward in faith. But no, my life is not all put together with a little silky, red ribbon. It's more like a frustrating ball of yarn with so many loops and confusing knots. But we are all like that. We have days where we feel things are moving forward. Then other days where we feel stuck. Or maybe we aren't stuck as much as discontent. But God's plan is for us to thrive, to grow, to fly. To be content with where we are at, where He has put us.

College is not a label to make me feel good about where I am in life. College is a step in a direction so unknown to me. But a step that I hope will better equip me for the purpose I have been given. 

Keep seeking Jesus. Keep trusting His plan. It's not your plan that will leave you content, it's God's. 

I encourage you to stop with the labels and boxes. God's plan for you is far better than anything that can fit inside a cute box with a ribbon on it. God's plan goes beyond. Don't be idle, or give up when you think your dream won't ever come true. Let's give our dreams to the One who knows the end from the beginning. Lets faithfully watch Him work in our lives.

Here's to stepping outside of comfort zones. Here's to new adventures! 

Many Blessings, Brooklyne Elysse